Dick is on the verge of being slapped with an harassment  suit.

The next day after his persistence and my annoyance he found me in my office. Stalker du jour came in and engaged in small talk,  wondering what our plans (I share an office with my boss) where for the day.

Yes, yes I am that naive (not). You chased me all the way to my office and when I barely talked to you, you reciprocate by sending another text asking why I never answer your text.

I. Am. Rolling. My.Eyes.At.You.

Then, hours later I go on Facebook and see you poked me. My name is a secret how the hell did you find me stalker? I am friends with no one on this camp. Meh, campus. Obviously, I am back in high school with nerds following me around.

Today, you sent me a message wondering about my thoughts about Gallo wine, because I asked you if you had any – to which you said it will cost you a lot. Nasty. Alcohol is rare around here. The Americans bombed the border of Pakistan, hence no trucks can come in, so spirits, wine, beer is gold around here.

Anyways, I’m not a kid I don’t get attracted to candy that easily. Cheap phallus trick.

I know you call your ex-girlfriend and harass her when you are drunk. I know you harassed the bartender and she now refuses to serve you drinks.

What? You have cob webs on your penis! Not my job to help you out.

Women don’t want you. Get the drift or get the back hand.

Where is Beige Burka? Can't find her. I'll text her, then phone her, then send her a message on Facebook. If she doesn't respond I'll find her room and show her my knife collection. I'm sure she will love that.