Maximus Minus Monica Equals Undersirable


It is unbelievable how many cheese dicks there around Kabul.

The concentration is highly accrued in our campus where the number of old farts and undesirable roam around the few women available at their disposal. I assure you most are certain women are toys or they actually have a shot because they have purchased their brides through the orient, by mail order or simply purchased a woman (girl I’m sure). I have never been surrounded by such an elevated amount of prostitute lovers.

‘My wife is hot! My wife is fit!’ Whatevs you bought her human recoil.

Today, I am quite upset by one of my co-workers relations or best friend here in Kabul. GT calls him Maximus, which is not something even I can begin to understand. Maximum ignorance, maximum juvenile, maximum sottise, maximum odieux yes, but Maximus as in excellence far from it.  That degenerate used me to seduce a woman, which I thought he genuinely liked…Like is very generous, but I had no idea how far he’d take this.

He ran after Monica for three months, a pretty blond with blue eyes very much into fitness- crying that she was not interested and difficult. No he was trying to get Monica in bed for three months, while she was still dating another bloke from Australia. He convinced her he was not a player like most in our compound where he had great interest in solidifying their relationship into something real. Hugh.

I thought at best (or at worst) he was simply going to sleep with her they’d have a torrid affair, he’d brag about all the nasty sexual position they’ve experience and that would be it. Monica was in a relationship with another man and he was seeing this American chick, which had no shame.

I mean Maximus tells you to meet him in his room late at night and while you are smoking a cigarette you see him walking Monica back to her room where he mysteriously stays for 15 minutes. Hmmm. In his room, you see on his laptop that he has Skyped disparaging comments about you to GT naming you a slut, dumb, whore bag, cunt face and worst. Once he returns to have sex with you while he has not showered the other woman off himself (I bet he didn’t even use a condom) and sees you in front of his laptop, you turn around and ask:

“Why did you write that about me?”

“You know me and GT always play around, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Maximus Odious says laughingly.

“Ah! Ok, for a minute there I was a little insulted,” says no self-respect.

A minute! You can’t even process insults clearly. There is no sadness for you. Cleary, you like eating shit.

She left Kabul and his focus was solely on Monica. Well he wooed her, she fell for him and they slept together. She officially broke up her boyfriend’s feelings for him. Monica liked him so much she invited  him to meet her family somewhere in Norway. Currently they are on holiday together.

Well, get this commoners. Follow the example of the brave Maximus, who by losing weight and training knows he’s the greatest. For you see, underway to Norway on a layover to Dubai waiting two hours for Monica to arrive on the very same day; sitting at the corner of an obscure bar he paid himself the pleasures of a Russian lady of the night, as these urges cannot be controlled. Better yet, he’s decided that his conquest is no longer deserving and while she thinks she’s honeymooning with her perfect match he has every intention of throwing her away as he’s enjoyed the apple and what should he do with her core.

I want to warn her but it’s too late.

I think Monica is a little stuck up, selective and believes she is our campus’ gem. However, I agree with her arrogant attitude towards men as most believe they are deities since money misconstrued their ability to see themselves as the ghetto blingers they truly are.

Honey, you can’t buy class!

I hope he’s wearing a condom… Malpropre!

Faizabad Kidnapping


Yesterday we launched and emergency charter for the British Embassy in conjunction with a military tasking, to help retrieve kidnapped aid workers.

I hope they are returned safe and sound to their families. Faizabad is relatively safe, nothing ever happens in that area except agricultural life. I hear the German Police is supposed to pull out because peacekeeping is not necessary.

These events reminded me of a story a friend of mine told me once. His best friend was a pilot at the time who had recently been engaged with his girlfriend of a few years. They where both working in Kabul, he was flying around the country she was a doctor working traveling to village to offer home care. I think she worked with Doctors Without Borders, because I remember a story I heard from the military in 2004, where this organisation was extremely angry against NATO for coming in Afghanistan after some of their staff had been killed by Talibans. They were upset (and within their rights) as they had been there during the Taliban rule and never had any security issues.

Anyways, she was going up north to a remote area where Afghan had little access to healthcare. They had decided to end their contracts and go back home in two or three weeks times to live their lives. The details escape me, but the medical staff  who went up north got kidnapped and where found dead in a shed. Shot in back of the head. So Afghan! Always in the back.

Needless to say he was devastated.

I hope that is not their fate.

Sideshow Whore Flew Straight in a Coucou’s Nest

Cancerous Whores, Today

A couple of months ago I wrote I had a beef with a middle aged woman. I believe I appropriately named her Sideshow Bob.

At the time, way back in September I told my lover that she was crazy. Not only did she have plans to have me thrown out of our compound handcuffed by the Afghan Police, but now I just learned she actually threatened to have me killed. It went all the way to her boss who I’ll quote:

”Pfff, what do you want me to do about two bitches fighting over a white dick!”

I want to make a muffle sound mixed with saisissement but I can’t find anything so I’ll just say: ”Oh!”

Ha! Ha! Ha!

I am mildly insulted because he believed our bar brawl was over a man. Moi! Never! But when a bitch calls you a bitch you have to take a stand. I was also real drunk and my boss prevented my fist from hitting her face, because she is a lawyer. Who cares?

(Anyways, Ronron I told you she was a nutcase, but like all men you diminished the whole situation.)

This death threat revelation came after a close friend asked me how we knew each other as he had heard a story about us two. Our brawl happened last December. I don’t understand why supposedly educated women let themselves become the instrument of clear manipulation by a real joke of a man and then accuses another for all their relationship problems, while the loud mouth jerk tells everyone her levels of insanity and his necessity to get rid of her, but in front of her he plays the nice guy. Sick.

I was sitting at the bar with my co-workers enjoying a fabulous evening celebrating the holiday season. We had a Secret Santa party. A few drinks later we where all having a blast. I was still dressed as Santa, when this cancerous whore in an attempt to sachay (she is so gauche and classless Bob looks like a donkey pooping) herself to the bar she stopped and asked who was in the costume. Someone answered ”Beige Burka,” and she continued with a look of disgust yelling ”that bitch!” It was on.


Fun story: I was the last of my co-workers to engage in a bar fight for year 2011.  I was mocking all of them because since Dec. 9th, all the boys had been involved in a brawl except me. I closed the year with a little violence. They where cracking up.

Colbert (my friend), was a bit surprised I had a semi-friendly relationship with her as she has a terrible reputation off being crazy, needy, drama driven, a player and worst of all an attention seeker. A few girlfriends had warned me against being friends with her, but I always thought people are too judgmental and because a women parties or is promiscuous you can’t associate yourself with them. I do what I want and didn’t listen. I thought she was fun and vivacious until I saw the truth.

You can actually Google her name and see all the sexual harassment lawsuits she has won against innocent men. She uses rape as regularly as her menstrual cycle. No, no she’s too old for that. It pisses me off for those who actually are assaulted and never say a word and|or need justice and never get retribution.

Seriously, who does that? Voices out loud to have someone killed just because you believe she had sex with your man?

You make me wanna use the C word, and I hate that word but I think you deserve it.

My friend works for the UN, different division from her but he avoids any contact with Bob. Her tricks are as sad as any. She has no girlfriends, as she seeks mostly male attention. She gets drunk on Thursday night and drops her top (coz two sips of gin & tonic transforms her into a wild child), uncrosses her legs in a very deliberate Paris Hilton no paparazzi moment for her horny admirers, attracts some poor sucker(s) to her room and the minute their backs are turned she calls security who barges in her room and removes the drunken idiot(s) who have no idea why he’s been removed when he was invited in.

The poor security guy has to explain that every other night she sends frantic text stating there is a man who will not leave her room.

I shake my head in superiority.Quelle bassesse! You are a middle age woman and you still use these cheap tricks. I would think at that age I’d be more mature.

She tried hard with my friend calling him around 2am saying ”I need you, come to my place” or ”come outside to meet me we are having a party.” He did go once and he soon realized she needed him to cock block as she couldn’t get rid of some guy.

He didn’t admit it, but I’m confident that if a man wakes up at 2am to meet another woman it’s probably to fuck, but the cock blocking turned him off and he never bothered with her again. I’m sure that was one of his reasons.

This story only gets worst, but i’m glad the fan club of reason against coucou doesn’t only stop with me.

Oh, one of my co-worker slept with her. Apparently, she loves anal sex, is very loud ( she lives down my corridor) has a couple of big dick dildos and there will be more of her sexual exploit another time. The day I am finished with Bob’s story I will reveal her name so you can all Google her name.

Whatever! Revenge is the only way to move on.



Taliban’s & Tarts


Invited tonight to a costume party. Taliban’s and tarts. I don’t know how to dress up for such a event.

This fiesta is taking place right after the Reuter BBQ. Well then…

We are to wear a Turban, Peran o tumban or beard and match it with an evening gown.

If I do get my ass off this couch this should be interesting.