Maximus Minus Monica Equals Undersirable


It is unbelievable how many cheese dicks there around Kabul.

The concentration is highly accrued in our campus where the number of old farts and undesirable roam around the few women available at their disposal. I assure you most are certain women are toys or they actually have a shot because they have purchased their brides through the orient, by mail order or simply purchased a woman (girl I’m sure). I have never been surrounded by such an elevated amount of prostitute lovers.

‘My wife is hot! My wife is fit!’ Whatevs you bought her human recoil.

Today, I am quite upset by one of my co-workers relations or best friend here in Kabul. GT calls him Maximus, which is not something even I can begin to understand. Maximum ignorance, maximum juvenile, maximum sottise, maximum odieux yes, but Maximus as in excellence far from it.  That degenerate used me to seduce a woman, which I thought he genuinely liked…Like is very generous, but I had no idea how far he’d take this.

He ran after Monica for three months, a pretty blond with blue eyes very much into fitness- crying that she was not interested and difficult. No he was trying to get Monica in bed for three months, while she was still dating another bloke from Australia. He convinced her he was not a player like most in our compound where he had great interest in solidifying their relationship into something real. Hugh.

I thought at best (or at worst) he was simply going to sleep with her they’d have a torrid affair, he’d brag about all the nasty sexual position they’ve experience and that would be it. Monica was in a relationship with another man and he was seeing this American chick, which had no shame.

I mean Maximus tells you to meet him in his room late at night and while you are smoking a cigarette you see him walking Monica back to her room where he mysteriously stays for 15 minutes. Hmmm. In his room, you see on his laptop that he has Skyped disparaging comments about you to GT naming you a slut, dumb, whore bag, cunt face and worst. Once he returns to have sex with you while he has not showered the other woman off himself (I bet he didn’t even use a condom) and sees you in front of his laptop, you turn around and ask:

“Why did you write that about me?”

“You know me and GT always play around, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Maximus Odious says laughingly.

“Ah! Ok, for a minute there I was a little insulted,” says no self-respect.

A minute! You can’t even process insults clearly. There is no sadness for you. Cleary, you like eating shit.

She left Kabul and his focus was solely on Monica. Well he wooed her, she fell for him and they slept together. She officially broke up her boyfriend’s feelings for him. Monica liked him so much she invited  him to meet her family somewhere in Norway. Currently they are on holiday together.

Well, get this commoners. Follow the example of the brave Maximus, who by losing weight and training knows he’s the greatest. For you see, underway to Norway on a layover to Dubai waiting two hours for Monica to arrive on the very same day; sitting at the corner of an obscure bar he paid himself the pleasures of a Russian lady of the night, as these urges cannot be controlled. Better yet, he’s decided that his conquest is no longer deserving and while she thinks she’s honeymooning with her perfect match he has every intention of throwing her away as he’s enjoyed the apple and what should he do with her core.

I want to warn her but it’s too late.

I think Monica is a little stuck up, selective and believes she is our campus’ gem. However, I agree with her arrogant attitude towards men as most believe they are deities since money misconstrued their ability to see themselves as the ghetto blingers they truly are.

Honey, you can’t buy class!

I hope he’s wearing a condom… Malpropre!

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