Dick Being a Dick

Dicks Chasing Chicks

Dick never answered my ‘why’ question, but I did see him the next evening at a bar where he acted oh so nonchalant.

I asked him why he sent me a picture on Facebook of that Gallo wine. Apparently, it was proof that he was really the owner of a 2009 bottle.

O.k. I though, ”maybe his mind is not controlled by his phallus maybe I”m wrong. Maybe he’s just friendly.” Pffff, not a chance.

This was a social environment where he was quite friendly with our whole crew. I mean if he is not chasing you he is  quite a good time. However, receiveing messages like tonight are annoying.

Come and have a drink in my office.

Who’s there?

All kinds of names I don’t know except one.

I was writing my previous blog, hence I said I couldn’t meet him just now but I wasn’t opposed to it. I mean free drinks, you’d be stupid not too (yes I’d sell my soul for alcohol remember where I live). Judge me all you want you don’t live here.

Big Mistake.

He kept harrasing my ass with messages of hope. When are you coming? Come now! Where are you. Best one:

3…2…1…

He’s getting creative.

He finally called and I said, ” No, I am not coming over I am tired.” He hung up on me. I texted back it was not very nice to hang up in my face.

He called me 5 times in a row. I didn’t answer.  I take partial responsibility for his actions, I shouldn’t encourage him, but it is a good story. Plus, shame on you for trying to sleep with me when I was sleeping with your “friend.” Remember.

He is not worst than Dick & Abs. Now, wait til I tell you his story.

Dicky Not Slick

Dicks Chasing Chicks, Today

And he’s close. He’ll find me I tell you.

Another text:

”Hey how are you? Why aren’t you answering me. You must really think I’m an asshole.”

Now for the guilt trip.

”I just want to spend some time with you.”

Oh, oh, no. No honey.

The desire is strong inside you… freak.

But you look like a shriveled penis. Didn’t you see the picture I posted because of you?

I spoke to you a minimum of 4 times for 3 minutes each times. Come on.

It’s not that hard. Rocket science. Where?

Pity.

If you know you stalked a girl endlessly and thought you where being charming think again.

Dicks Chasing Clicks

Dicks Chasing Chicks

Dick is on the verge of being slapped with an harassment  suit.

The next day after his persistence and my annoyance he found me in my office. Stalker du jour came in and engaged in small talk,  wondering what our plans (I share an office with my boss) where for the day.

Yes, yes I am that naive (not). You chased me all the way to my office and when I barely talked to you, you reciprocate by sending another text asking why I never answer your text.

I. Am. Rolling. My.Eyes.At.You.

Then, hours later I go on Facebook and see you poked me. My name is a secret how the hell did you find me stalker? I am friends with no one on this camp. Meh, campus. Obviously, I am back in high school with nerds following me around.

Today, you sent me a message wondering about my thoughts about Gallo wine, because I asked you if you had any – to which you said it will cost you a lot. Nasty. Alcohol is rare around here. The Americans bombed the border of Pakistan, hence no trucks can come in, so spirits, wine, beer is gold around here.

Anyways, I’m not a kid I don’t get attracted to candy that easily. Cheap phallus trick.

I know you call your ex-girlfriend and harass her when you are drunk. I know you harassed the bartender and she now refuses to serve you drinks.

What? You have cob webs on your penis! Not my job to help you out.

Women don’t want you. Get the drift or get the back hand.

Where is Beige Burka? Can't find her. I'll text her, then phone her, then send her a message on Facebook. If she doesn't respond I'll find her room and show her my knife collection. I'm sure she will love that.

Dicks Chasing Chicks

Dicks Chasing Chicks

I used to date this guy not long ago. I think I was one of the lucky ones, funny, intelligent, my age but of course married.

First time and last time. O.k. Second time, but last time.

Where I live, I am surrounded by contractors. They are mostly ex-military veterans with a collective disorder–old and ugly. Even if they are in my age category their faces don’t match my ass. Desperation and alcohol alone makes one see men differently, but I can still see clearly so don’t try to trap me.

Don’t get me wrong most of them are nice, just not fuckable.

Now that my former lover is gone his friends send me all sorts of invites. I just received a text from his former colleague requesting a  visit (yes) to my room to watch a movie. Why? So you can find an excuse to stay? Hell no!

5 days ago

I have some Hendricks in my room wanna share?

No I’m not attracted to you!

4 days ago

If you ever need anything, please do not hesitated call me Beige Burka. Yes, yes so I can go suck your dirty dick. I get it.

No I’m not attracted to you!

3 days ago

Why don’t you answer my text?

No I’m not attracted to you!

2 days ago

Why don’t you answer my phone calls?

”No I’m not attracted to you!”

1 day ago

Why?Why?Why? Let me buy you a drink.

No I’m not attracted to you!

If you think there are slim pickings in your neighborhood, think again as the armpit of the world attracts all sorts of low grade quality persistent men.

No means no and I’m not attracted to you. Not understanding what I mean the first time is just rude.