Cancerous Whores, The Year, Today

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No one was really looking for me. Only her. She needed some more accessories purchased before my departure and it was well too late for that.

I had felt very comfortable in Dubai and was dreading going to Kabul. In my mind, I was plotting reasons to permanently be stationed here. Weighing the tolerable against the repulsive. In short, I was afraid but I couldn’t tell anyone.

It was an I am back moment that could have been whispered into  the wind, as I was not prepared to enjoy it.



Speck of an Atom Tirade

The Year, Today

My paper work was progressing at the speed of someone chocking on their own saliva. The whole process was surprising and unexpectantly I jumped in this bandwagon named “get me out of here.” I could have stopped to think for a minute and rationalized on my diverging path, you know like wasn’t I supposed to work in the fashion industry in Hong Kong? But no, I decided it was less effort to just wait and see what happens. I’m a self-inflicted door mat.

I don’t know why I never put my foot down against my flawed vagabond self. This could get me out of some serious trouble (or discernment) if only I listened to the almost non-existent voice of reason hidden in a speck of an atom in my mind. But I didn’t so I went and I sent all y information to Daft For Sure and had less than 10 days to move all my shit, pack my bags, settle my accounts, finalize my taxes and say goodbye to friends for a long while. It seemed impossible but TV  tells you that nice people always prevail. Right?

It was winter, I felt a warm vortex pulling me to another world. A world in the Middle East.


Tirade 2

Zab Email address

Word of the Day: Application

Cancerous Whores, Head Office, The Year

Application Application2

So I had applied. That was one of the dumbest choices I ever made.
In my conversation with Natasha, I had asked if it was a good idea to work together as we had significant spats in the past and I had no intention of ruining a friendship to work in a place where I had lukewarm feelings towards. I didn’t really want to work in Kabul, but it was winter and I was bored.
“Fuck no. You’re so negative. I don’t think so we are way to reasonable for that and plus now that you have pointed it out we will be careful. We won’t have any fucking time for that it’s fucking busy here. Bah, we always recover from our arguments.Fuck yeah.”
I had no idea how this became a convincing argument, but it did. I knew she was impatient, but she was also considerate and extremely generous. The generous part always got her cleared from her obnoxious ignorant comments and meddling ways. Skinny women are not usually as witty or funny as her and you could rarely be bored as conversation always flowed one million miles per hour. No one understood why a person who read so little could speak so much. I saw her flaws but always chose to forgive them as I thought no one is perfect. We went to the same high school, our parents house where in the same neighborhood, we had been on several holidays together, had gotten wasted, had worked for the same companies, had gotten fired together, I listened to her woes and deception with men and witnessed her father’s last breath. There was a long bread crumb zigzagging back to the center of our bond and hearts, too much history together to simply let our friendship extinguish itself because of our bad tempers..
In our younger days, after graduating from college, Zab encouraged me to apply to an internship (and subsequently first job in the tourism industry( with her  airline company. Natasha had not graduated from some random Tourism School (I think she failed a few classes she had to repeat), but skilled and  able as she was, she convinced her teachers to complete her internship first and then finish her studies. She never went back to the school and got hired by the airline. She offered me the internship as the airline had picked up some flights and was scrapping for new employees. I was mostly accepted because Beige is an odd name enough for a colored girl and people never new how to react when they found out I was not white. People (on the hiring side) usually liked me because I was funny and intelligent and seemed like the “exception.”  They liked me and always offered me work.
We lasted in this company for two years until an escapade gone wrong in hot Mexico, obliged us to reside in the sun temporarily. Boy, did our two months binge drinking felt incredibly right. We then followed each other in a race around the world starting with who would work first on a cruise ship.

First, we tried to drive to Florida  but we ran out of gas and money by the time we arrived in New York (we lived in Canadian bordering town) and I’ll admit it I chickened out because as I drove off with my car, my father just like a movie chased us down the road, sped up, turned and blocked our passage with his Malibu. He got out of the car and blasted  Zab  with an arson of vitriol ” how dare you steal our daughter in your stupid pointless adventures,” and drove off. The shock of seeing my father attempt such a bold move, he who was so reserved and kind; transfixed me all the way back home. Eventually, we found our ways to the ships and although we were never assigned to the same vessel we worked for the same company (again).

Then came another time for change. I got hired to work in Afghanistan and she applied to the same agency, but was sent in Bosnia. Years later, here we are again in the same place where we started our careers as professional international drifters. You could say we may have had the same vagabond ways, but we loved adventure. The only difference is I took some time off to get a degree and stop working in the servant industry, I mean service industry. I really despised customer service work after cruise lines and working with incompetent narrow minded military personnel. These bozos tested my patience to the very last insult or phone hang up. I needed a change and a better career choice so I got educated never to return to my past choices.
Ha ha.
Although I had scheduled a flight, actually two flights to Hong Kong the capital of cool and all fashion I sent my resume to Daft For Sure Inc. with a what the heck attitude. “Meh, let’s see if this really happens, it’s not like I never purchase fully refundable airline tickets,” I thought to myself and as always my lack of plan and lust for unexpected events took over.
Three days later after I sent my resume I was scheduled for an interview. I had no idea the chains of captivity would start to wrap itself around my neck, and swallow me whole into a whirlwind of impossibilities to most, but in Kabul are the usual.   But  at the time I said: “What the heck.”


Beige Colorful

Hero Call’s

The Year

I’ve been commissioned to find my ex-boss who is definately an alcoholic, but denies it with a butt load of excuses such as:

“I don’t need to drink I just like sitting at the bar.”

“It’s not an addiction I just like to have a few drinks after work, what’s wrong with socializing with a beer,” he said in a Norridge accent.

I should write his top ten denial comments because they are both funny and sad…

Well, since he resigned with the company after a brutish debacle with Daft For Sure Inc. on the need for a Station Manager in Kabul (slave owners who wanted to fire him but didn’t know if they should but told him anyways!!!), he spiraled even worst in the middle of their indecision.

No one has heard from him since August except me. I hope he is ok.

Job Search

The Year

I had just graduated from University, but still working as a cloak room attendee (in a crummy bar)  mostly paid in tips; and I say mostly because it was a fight to get a few pennies from these cheap bastards. The music was mostly calypso, reggae top 40’s and zouk. Everything I never listened to, hence the reason I spent most of my time trying to block this noise and ignored everything around me so I didn’t realize my phone was ringing. Plus, I had no means of getting a smart phone.  I didn’t know I had received an email.

Poor student syndrome was surrounding me and this cold January month didn’t help. But I had a plan. I had already purchased my ticket via Expedia to Bangkok and my next leg to Hong Kong with Air Asia. I was obsessed by their fashion and fast lifestyle. I was going to find a job in Fashion this time, for sure. I swore I’d never go back to North America until I was successful, fucked properly and with a new network of fabulous friends equally interested in the superficial matters of eccentric wear. But I didn’t go, I went somewhere else instead.

I guess the capital letters really got me hooked.